My sexuality was never anything that I held as sacred. I didn’t honor it. I didn’t really pay much attention to it. I was taught how it should be and that’s what I did. I never explored sex or sexuality, those were things that “good Christian girls” didn’t do. It was this thing in my life that existed outside of my soul, my being. It was like this until it no longer could be kept down. It took time for me to come to terms with it. Thinking I was Bisexual was the safest way to be at first. Safe because I could still be in my life as I knew it, married to my best friend, running our business, parenting, things I didn’t want to have taken away.
Allowing myself the space to explore my sexuality and in turn divorcing, the realization that there were many things I needed to heal in myself came barreling down pretty quickly. So I started working towards healing. My Healer has been spectacular. Learning that my body, my womb are sacred and in turn my sexuality is sacred. Spending time in my womb space listening to what she has to say, how she feels, and what she needs has been tremendously healing. I found that my womb is my power source and I had been ignoring that for decades. It’s where my intuition comes from, my knowledge of healing others. Our bodies are sacred, our wombs are sacred. Understanding how to let your body speak to you will bring healing. Listening, caring, tuning in to what hurts you are holding and where they are being held, and how to release them is such a powerful force.
My womb is something I no longer ignore, along with my sexuality. Being in touch with them has given me more than I thought it would. Yes, I’m divorced and it makes me sad at times, I’m not with my kids the same way, my relationship with my best friend has changed but for me this was something my soul needed, to love myself in a way that at first seemed so selfish but that I have come to realize was the best way to love myself. Being honest about my sexuality and allowing myself to be unapologetically who I am is the best healing I could have done.
I still have healing to do, some of it will take time and that’s ok but I’m learning how to listen to my body so that I can make things happen that will lead me to heal. When we aren’t true to ourselves and hide parts of ourselves we end up hurting and sometimes not even knowing we are. Pushing down who you are will keep you from being your whole self, your true self. Instead, be honest about who you are, how you feel about things, what you need or want. You will feel whole and you will end up healing hurts that have festered for far too long.
Shannon lives in the beautiful Columbia Gorge where she is co-owner of Gorge Pest Control and mom to three kids. She attended Warner Pacific College in Portland, Oregon where she hoped to specialize in Child Development. Shannon is a healer by nature using modalities such as Tarot, stones, holding space, womb work, and energy work. She is continually educating herself on different healing techniques and modalities. Shannon hope own her own healing practice in 2019.
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