The common conception towards the use of Oracle, Tarot, Lenormand and
any divination system is that it is for fortune-telling — predicting weddings and lottery wins– but in my personal experience, reading cards did not take away my personal autonomy, rather it helped me gain it back. Coming from a background of social anxiety and lack of direction in life, readings cards helped me learn to love myself, taught me healthier and more proactive ways in treating myself and living life, and like a lantern, shine light into the unknowns in my life with grace, faith, and belief in my own capabilities.
It’s safe to be me
I always seemed to compare myself to those around me. Everyone else
seemed to be more emotionally stable, braver, and confident, while I was just a mess. No matter how many ways I tried to trim and mold myself, I could never be enough. That’s why I avoided meditation because I felt like I would have to sit in that space of never enoughness and be taken by the abyss of how much I hated myself. Working with cards allowed me to finally know what it means to sit with myself and just be here with me, the anxiety, the fears, and all the shame. The guidance I received from my Guides through the cards always surprised me with their insight. There was never any blame, there was only understanding and honesty helping me see my beliefs and how I can choose ones that gave me wings instead of shackled me.
I pull cards whenever I feel out of balance, upset, lost, or looking for
someone to hold space for me, and the messages would always be so loving and gentle, showing me how hard I am on myself. I need to acknowledge the work I am doing for myself, and for those times I am learning to harmful and self-destructive behaviors, an honest mirror, reminding me that this does not have to be the way things have to be. I can still feel inadequate but also practice loving myself, patience, forgiveness — mercy towards myself. I used to have difficulty releasing tears but working with cards helped me get in touch with my tears again, clutching the cards to my heart. Seeing and acknowledging my truth heals more than it hurts because we are not those feelings of pain and shame. Working with my cards helped me realize that I can safely feel those things and not become it, not become that pain and shame. I can recognize how much it’s hurting me and send love instead. Tell myself, “I see me and I’m helping me heal now. I am precious and I am working towards being better every time”.
Always guided, always loved
Aside from being a gateway into seeing and healing myself, the cards have helped me be my own navigator in times of dark with the stars as the only light. During that time I planned to study abroad, I was confident that I would be given the money for tuition and all my needs. I started freelancing making only $5 per copy. As each month passed, it became clearer and clearer that I had to let go, even though I felt like I was meant to do this: sacrifice the stable life I had for this life I wanted to be built for myself. There came I point when I couldn’t find the silver lining, devastated as I broke out my cards and spoke out to the Universe, “Why can’t things just go my way?”. The Guides told me that I was on the path. I was being called to be in an environment that would nurture the person I was blossoming into, but it wasn’t what I assumed it was. I was asked to release this dream of studying abroad to receive what I truly asked for: a place where I could learn how to use my wings. It was difficult, but I released it, and some days after, an old acquaintance called my mother and mentioned that she worked at this school. I applied to this school, passed, and now I’m in my graduating year. I met people who I could be safe with, participated in an exchange program, and equipped me with knowledge and skills that complemented my spiritual guidance work and enabled me to become a more grounded practitioner and mature as a person.
Sometimes we may resist what the cards reveal to us, especially if it’s
against what we desire. Sometimes, it can truly feel like nothing is working on our favor and our dreams are being shot down, but that is not the truth. There is a sunset beneath those clouds, it’s just that we focus so much on the clouds that we forget about the grand reveal at the other side. Aside from that study abroad dream, I never thought I would be a spiritual worker. Years ago, my existence revolved around filling up the void in my heart with pornography, unhealthy food, and playing chameleon for love. I thought I would be an artist, but art was more of an emotional outlet than something I was truly passionate about. I didn’t know what my passion was for sure because I never allowed myself to introspect, to really know who I was and what I wanted to gift the world because I was lonely. For a time, I allowed that loneliness to shape my life and relationships. I didn’t do card readings at that time, but when I started was when I was finally playing with the idea that my life meant something, and that there was a soul within that void within me. There is a flickering light, and the act of reading cards for myself is the act of re-enkindling that light and allowing it to bless my life and bless whatever I touch.
Consulting the cards always give you the gift of perspective, that there is a
grand scheme and order of things and you are not just an object that gets affected by these things, you are also influencing the matrix. By welcoming the insight revealed through a card spread, you are already changing outcomes because that knowledge opens up awareness, which consequently affects your actions, behavior, and trains your mind to spot synchronicities. This way, you become a conscious co-creator with life. Indeed, there are some things that cannot be controlled, but there is a great deal that you can such as how you interpret life and how you choose to respond. I could have chosen to react violently and thrown away my cards when I couldn’t progress with the person I thought was “the one” nor received divine assistance in getting the money for what I thought was my dream. I could have also continued to be a shapeshifter for love and continue to be unkind to myself, could have said ‘no’ to exploring who I am and what fulfills me in my life, and I would have never known that I could have the courage and the grit to be who I am today, an Intuitive Life Coach and Psychic Reader, never known how a full heart feels like and abundance in every aspect of my life. My life could have never changed without my willingness in the face of uncertainty and unworthiness.
The Universe knows your heart. We are made of the same stuff as stars as
per Neil deGrasse Tyson. The Universe knows the fullness of what you want, you are asked to be open to the unfolding even if you are so sure. I was sure I wasn’t going to be a spiritual worker — far from it, but it all started with the desire to love myself and choosing to trust. Choosing to look out for signs and guidance, and choose life-affirming decisions. It may not seem like we have much will over our circumstances, but that is only the case if we choose to work alone.
It is safe to work with cards. They are tools in which we can invite the Divine
— the Angels, Ancestors, and Spiritual Guides — in every decision we do, so that we can build a mindful and meaningful existence that brings out the best in us and heals the worst in us. Cards are tools we can use to bring to light what is hidden in our unconscious and subconscious and understand how these construct our world and our reality. I like to pray to the non-denominational Source, ask what I need to know about a situation or what is the most empowering or aligned action in dealing with a situation, shuffle and pull the card or cards and take note of any impressions, insight, and catharsis triggered by what I see, hear, feel, or intuitively know from the card. I either audio record myself or write my insight down to the sound of soft, meditative music and the gentle glow of candlelight. If I am stuck on a card, I take a photo of it to ruminate on later, or simply take a photo for a reminder during dark days. My life has become magical. Sacred. And I hope this will be a light to you as it has been and continues to be for me.
Intuitive Therese Heart
Spiritual Guide and Healer, Metaphysical Educator, and Angel Communicator.